Carolyn Phelps, Ph.D

February 17, 2015

The truth will set you free.  When, in the history of being human, have we kept facts about ourselves hidden in secrecy where that did not prove to be toxic at some point for us? Secrets like that, feed shame. Shame, which is about judging ourselves negatively, is toxic to everything that matters. It is toxic to our sense of self, because we walk around feeling like a fraud in a constant state of “If you only knew the truth about me, you wouldn’t think I was so good.” Secrets that we hold deep within us, and the shame that is borne from those secrets, distance us from the people we love, holding them at bay. We feel that distance as a loneliness which the presence of others cannot mend. It is a loneliness that is manufactured and created by shame and secrets. I think the essence of each of us is about how we love. It is not about our skin color, our religion, our sexual orientation. It is not about our weight or our beauty or lack thereof. It’s not about money or degrees or job or whether you are or are not the sexiest man alive according to People magazine. It is not about the size of your house, or the neighborhood where you live or if you are homeless. It is not about if we have an illness or we don’t. It is about how we love. And secrets keep us from giving love freely and purely; because if we’re keeping a secret, we have to reserve part of ourselves for guarding the secret. The truth sets us free. Free to accept ourselves. Free to accept others. Free to be loving and be loved.

 Ken and Patty’s message:  Accept yourself, flaws and all; so you can get on about the business of being your true self. Without fear or shame. This self acceptance paves the road to happiness. (Major segue alert!) Which is this week’s show: Getting to Happiness!

See you Thursday at 7:30.

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